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-rwxr-xr-xsynapse/_scripts/synapse_port_db.py3
-rw-r--r--synapse/handlers/room.py6
-rw-r--r--synapse/handlers/room_member.py3
-rw-r--r--synapse/module_api/__init__.py3
-rw-r--r--synapse/rest/admin/rooms.py8
-rw-r--r--synapse/rest/client/directory.py2
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/database.py10
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/devices.py43
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/e2e_room_keys.py31
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/end_to_end_keys.py4
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/event_federation.py24
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/events.py3
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/events_worker.py2
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/media_repository.py30
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/profile.py28
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/push_rule.py3
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/receipts.py4
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/registration.py87
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/room.py45
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/roommember.py19
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/stream.py30
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/task_scheduler.py48
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/transactions.py20
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/ui_auth.py31
-rw-r--r--synapse/storage/databases/main/user_directory.py27
25 files changed, 261 insertions, 253 deletions
diff --git a/synapse/_scripts/synapse_port_db.py b/synapse/_scripts/synapse_port_db.py
index ef8590db65..75fe0183f6 100755
--- a/synapse/_scripts/synapse_port_db.py
+++ b/synapse/_scripts/synapse_port_db.py
@@ -348,8 +348,7 @@ class Porter:
                     backward_chunk = 0
                     already_ported = 0
             else:
-                forward_chunk = row["forward_rowid"]
-                backward_chunk = row["backward_rowid"]
+                forward_chunk, backward_chunk = row
 
             if total_to_port is None:
                 already_ported, total_to_port = await self._get_total_count_to_port(
diff --git a/synapse/handlers/room.py b/synapse/handlers/room.py
index 6d680b0795..afd8138caf 100644
--- a/synapse/handlers/room.py
+++ b/synapse/handlers/room.py
@@ -269,7 +269,7 @@ class RoomCreationHandler:
         self,
         requester: Requester,
         old_room_id: str,
-        old_room: Dict[str, Any],
+        old_room: Tuple[bool, str, bool],
         new_room_id: str,
         new_version: RoomVersion,
         tombstone_event: EventBase,
@@ -279,7 +279,7 @@ class RoomCreationHandler:
         Args:
             requester: the user requesting the upgrade
             old_room_id: the id of the room to be replaced
-            old_room: a dict containing room information for the room to be replaced,
+            old_room: a tuple containing room information for the room to be replaced,
                 as returned by `RoomWorkerStore.get_room`.
             new_room_id: the id of the replacement room
             new_version: the version to upgrade the room to
@@ -299,7 +299,7 @@ class RoomCreationHandler:
         await self.store.store_room(
             room_id=new_room_id,
             room_creator_user_id=user_id,
-            is_public=old_room["is_public"],
+            is_public=old_room[0],
             room_version=new_version,
         )
 
diff --git a/synapse/handlers/room_member.py b/synapse/handlers/room_member.py
index 918eb203e2..eddc2af9ba 100644
--- a/synapse/handlers/room_member.py
+++ b/synapse/handlers/room_member.py
@@ -1260,7 +1260,8 @@ class RoomMemberHandler(metaclass=abc.ABCMeta):
         # Add new room to the room directory if the old room was there
         # Remove old room from the room directory
         old_room = await self.store.get_room(old_room_id)
-        if old_room is not None and old_room["is_public"]:
+        # If the old room exists and is public.
+        if old_room is not None and old_room[0]:
             await self.store.set_room_is_public(old_room_id, False)
             await self.store.set_room_is_public(room_id, True)
 
diff --git a/synapse/module_api/__init__.py b/synapse/module_api/__init__.py
index 755c59274c..812144a128 100644
--- a/synapse/module_api/__init__.py
+++ b/synapse/module_api/__init__.py
@@ -1860,7 +1860,8 @@ class PublicRoomListManager:
         if not room:
             return False
 
-        return room.get("is_public", False)
+        # The first item is whether the room is public.
+        return room[0]
 
     async def add_room_to_public_room_list(self, room_id: str) -> None:
         """Publishes a room to the public room list.
diff --git a/synapse/rest/admin/rooms.py b/synapse/rest/admin/rooms.py
index 23a034522c..7e40bea8aa 100644
--- a/synapse/rest/admin/rooms.py
+++ b/synapse/rest/admin/rooms.py
@@ -413,8 +413,8 @@ class RoomMembersRestServlet(RestServlet):
     ) -> Tuple[int, JsonDict]:
         await assert_requester_is_admin(self.auth, request)
 
-        ret = await self.store.get_room(room_id)
-        if not ret:
+        room = await self.store.get_room(room_id)
+        if not room:
             raise NotFoundError("Room not found")
 
         members = await self.store.get_users_in_room(room_id)
@@ -442,8 +442,8 @@ class RoomStateRestServlet(RestServlet):
     ) -> Tuple[int, JsonDict]:
         await assert_requester_is_admin(self.auth, request)
 
-        ret = await self.store.get_room(room_id)
-        if not ret:
+        room = await self.store.get_room(room_id)
+        if not room:
             raise NotFoundError("Room not found")
 
         event_ids = await self._storage_controllers.state.get_current_state_ids(room_id)
diff --git a/synapse/rest/client/directory.py b/synapse/rest/client/directory.py
index 82944ca711..3534c3c259 100644
--- a/synapse/rest/client/directory.py
+++ b/synapse/rest/client/directory.py
@@ -147,7 +147,7 @@ class ClientDirectoryListServer(RestServlet):
         if room is None:
             raise NotFoundError("Unknown room")
 
-        return 200, {"visibility": "public" if room["is_public"] else "private"}
+        return 200, {"visibility": "public" if room[0] else "private"}
 
     class PutBody(RequestBodyModel):
         visibility: Literal["public", "private"] = "public"
diff --git a/synapse/storage/database.py b/synapse/storage/database.py
index 0af0507307..eb34de4df5 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/database.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/database.py
@@ -1597,7 +1597,7 @@ class DatabasePool:
         retcols: Collection[str],
         allow_none: Literal[False] = False,
         desc: str = "simple_select_one",
-    ) -> Dict[str, Any]:
+    ) -> Tuple[Any, ...]:
         ...
 
     @overload
@@ -1608,7 +1608,7 @@ class DatabasePool:
         retcols: Collection[str],
         allow_none: Literal[True] = True,
         desc: str = "simple_select_one",
-    ) -> Optional[Dict[str, Any]]:
+    ) -> Optional[Tuple[Any, ...]]:
         ...
 
     async def simple_select_one(
@@ -1618,7 +1618,7 @@ class DatabasePool:
         retcols: Collection[str],
         allow_none: bool = False,
         desc: str = "simple_select_one",
-    ) -> Optional[Dict[str, Any]]:
+    ) -> Optional[Tuple[Any, ...]]:
         """Executes a SELECT query on the named table, which is expected to
         return a single row, returning multiple columns from it.
 
@@ -2127,7 +2127,7 @@ class DatabasePool:
         keyvalues: Dict[str, Any],
         retcols: Collection[str],
         allow_none: bool = False,
-    ) -> Optional[Dict[str, Any]]:
+    ) -> Optional[Tuple[Any, ...]]:
         select_sql = "SELECT %s FROM %s" % (", ".join(retcols), table)
 
         if keyvalues:
@@ -2145,7 +2145,7 @@ class DatabasePool:
         if txn.rowcount > 1:
             raise StoreError(500, "More than one row matched (%s)" % (table,))
 
-        return dict(zip(retcols, row))
+        return row
 
     async def simple_delete_one(
         self, table: str, keyvalues: Dict[str, Any], desc: str = "simple_delete_one"
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/devices.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/devices.py
index 04d12a876c..775abbac79 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/devices.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/devices.py
@@ -255,33 +255,16 @@ class DeviceWorkerStore(RoomMemberWorkerStore, EndToEndKeyWorkerStore):
             A dict containing the device information, or `None` if the device does not
             exist.
         """
-        return await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
-            table="devices",
-            keyvalues={"user_id": user_id, "device_id": device_id, "hidden": False},
-            retcols=("user_id", "device_id", "display_name"),
-            desc="get_device",
-            allow_none=True,
-        )
-
-    async def get_device_opt(
-        self, user_id: str, device_id: str
-    ) -> Optional[Dict[str, Any]]:
-        """Retrieve a device. Only returns devices that are not marked as
-        hidden.
-
-        Args:
-            user_id: The ID of the user which owns the device
-            device_id: The ID of the device to retrieve
-        Returns:
-            A dict containing the device information, or None if the device does not exist.
-        """
-        return await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
+        row = await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
             table="devices",
             keyvalues={"user_id": user_id, "device_id": device_id, "hidden": False},
             retcols=("user_id", "device_id", "display_name"),
             desc="get_device",
             allow_none=True,
         )
+        if row is None:
+            return None
+        return {"user_id": row[0], "device_id": row[1], "display_name": row[2]}
 
     async def get_devices_by_user(
         self, user_id: str
@@ -1221,9 +1204,7 @@ class DeviceWorkerStore(RoomMemberWorkerStore, EndToEndKeyWorkerStore):
             retcols=["device_id", "device_data"],
             allow_none=True,
         )
-        return (
-            (row["device_id"], json_decoder.decode(row["device_data"])) if row else None
-        )
+        return (row[0], json_decoder.decode(row[1])) if row else None
 
     def _store_dehydrated_device_txn(
         self,
@@ -2326,13 +2307,15 @@ class DeviceStore(DeviceWorkerStore, DeviceBackgroundUpdateStore):
         `FALSE` have not been converted.
         """
 
-        row = await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
-            table="device_lists_changes_converted_stream_position",
-            keyvalues={},
-            retcols=["stream_id", "room_id"],
-            desc="get_device_change_last_converted_pos",
+        return cast(
+            Tuple[int, str],
+            await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
+                table="device_lists_changes_converted_stream_position",
+                keyvalues={},
+                retcols=["stream_id", "room_id"],
+                desc="get_device_change_last_converted_pos",
+            ),
         )
-        return row["stream_id"], row["room_id"]
 
     async def set_device_change_last_converted_pos(
         self,
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/e2e_room_keys.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/e2e_room_keys.py
index ad904a26a6..fae23c3407 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/e2e_room_keys.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/e2e_room_keys.py
@@ -506,19 +506,26 @@ class EndToEndRoomKeyStore(EndToEndRoomKeyBackgroundStore):
                     # it isn't there.
                     raise StoreError(404, "No backup with that version exists")
 
-            result = self.db_pool.simple_select_one_txn(
-                txn,
-                table="e2e_room_keys_versions",
-                keyvalues={"user_id": user_id, "version": this_version, "deleted": 0},
-                retcols=("version", "algorithm", "auth_data", "etag"),
-                allow_none=False,
+            row = cast(
+                Tuple[int, str, str, Optional[int]],
+                self.db_pool.simple_select_one_txn(
+                    txn,
+                    table="e2e_room_keys_versions",
+                    keyvalues={
+                        "user_id": user_id,
+                        "version": this_version,
+                        "deleted": 0,
+                    },
+                    retcols=("version", "algorithm", "auth_data", "etag"),
+                    allow_none=False,
+                ),
             )
-            assert result is not None  # see comment on `simple_select_one_txn`
-            result["auth_data"] = db_to_json(result["auth_data"])
-            result["version"] = str(result["version"])
-            if result["etag"] is None:
-                result["etag"] = 0
-            return result
+            return {
+                "auth_data": db_to_json(row[2]),
+                "version": str(row[0]),
+                "algorithm": row[1],
+                "etag": 0 if row[3] is None else row[3],
+            }
 
         return await self.db_pool.runInteraction(
             "get_e2e_room_keys_version_info", _get_e2e_room_keys_version_info_txn
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/end_to_end_keys.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/end_to_end_keys.py
index 3005e2a2c5..8cb61eaee3 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/end_to_end_keys.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/end_to_end_keys.py
@@ -1266,9 +1266,7 @@ class EndToEndKeyWorkerStore(EndToEndKeyBackgroundStore, CacheInvalidationWorker
             if row is None:
                 continue
 
-            key_id = row["key_id"]
-            key_json = row["key_json"]
-            used = row["used"]
+            key_id, key_json, used = row
 
             # Mark fallback key as used if not already.
             if not used and mark_as_used:
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/event_federation.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/event_federation.py
index f1b0991503..7e992ca4a2 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/event_federation.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/event_federation.py
@@ -193,7 +193,8 @@ class EventFederationWorkerStore(SignatureWorkerStore, EventsWorkerStore, SQLBas
         # Check if we have indexed the room so we can use the chain cover
         # algorithm.
         room = await self.get_room(room_id)  # type: ignore[attr-defined]
-        if room["has_auth_chain_index"]:
+        # If the room has an auth chain index.
+        if room[1]:
             try:
                 return await self.db_pool.runInteraction(
                     "get_auth_chain_ids_chains",
@@ -411,7 +412,8 @@ class EventFederationWorkerStore(SignatureWorkerStore, EventsWorkerStore, SQLBas
         # Check if we have indexed the room so we can use the chain cover
         # algorithm.
         room = await self.get_room(room_id)  # type: ignore[attr-defined]
-        if room["has_auth_chain_index"]:
+        # If the room has an auth chain index.
+        if room[1]:
             try:
                 return await self.db_pool.runInteraction(
                     "get_auth_chain_difference_chains",
@@ -1437,24 +1439,18 @@ class EventFederationWorkerStore(SignatureWorkerStore, EventsWorkerStore, SQLBas
             )
 
             if event_lookup_result is not None:
+                event_type, depth, stream_ordering = event_lookup_result
                 logger.debug(
                     "_get_backfill_events(room_id=%s): seed_event_id=%s depth=%s stream_ordering=%s type=%s",
                     room_id,
                     seed_event_id,
-                    event_lookup_result["depth"],
-                    event_lookup_result["stream_ordering"],
-                    event_lookup_result["type"],
+                    depth,
+                    stream_ordering,
+                    event_type,
                 )
 
-                if event_lookup_result["depth"]:
-                    queue.put(
-                        (
-                            -event_lookup_result["depth"],
-                            -event_lookup_result["stream_ordering"],
-                            seed_event_id,
-                            event_lookup_result["type"],
-                        )
-                    )
+                if depth:
+                    queue.put((-depth, -stream_ordering, seed_event_id, event_type))
 
         while not queue.empty() and len(event_id_results) < limit:
             try:
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/events.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/events.py
index 7c34bde3e5..5207cc0f4e 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/events.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/events.py
@@ -1934,8 +1934,7 @@ class PersistEventsStore:
         if row is None:
             return
 
-        redacted_relates_to = row["relates_to_id"]
-        rel_type = row["relation_type"]
+        redacted_relates_to, rel_type = row
         self.db_pool.simple_delete_txn(
             txn, table="event_relations", keyvalues={"event_id": redacted_event_id}
         )
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/events_worker.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/events_worker.py
index 5bf864c1fb..4e63a16fa2 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/events_worker.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/events_worker.py
@@ -1998,7 +1998,7 @@ class EventsWorkerStore(SQLBaseStore):
         if not res:
             raise SynapseError(404, "Could not find event %s" % (event_id,))
 
-        return int(res["topological_ordering"]), int(res["stream_ordering"])
+        return int(res[0]), int(res[1])
 
     async def get_next_event_to_expire(self) -> Optional[Tuple[str, int]]:
         """Retrieve the entry with the lowest expiry timestamp in the event_expiry
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/media_repository.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/media_repository.py
index 7f99c64f1b..3f80a64dc5 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/media_repository.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/media_repository.py
@@ -208,7 +208,17 @@ class MediaRepositoryStore(MediaRepositoryBackgroundUpdateStore):
         )
         if row is None:
             return None
-        return LocalMedia(media_id=media_id, **row)
+        return LocalMedia(
+            media_id=media_id,
+            media_type=row[0],
+            media_length=row[1],
+            upload_name=row[2],
+            created_ts=row[3],
+            quarantined_by=row[4],
+            url_cache=row[5],
+            last_access_ts=row[6],
+            safe_from_quarantine=row[7],
+        )
 
     async def get_local_media_by_user_paginate(
         self,
@@ -541,7 +551,17 @@ class MediaRepositoryStore(MediaRepositoryBackgroundUpdateStore):
         )
         if row is None:
             return row
-        return RemoteMedia(media_origin=origin, media_id=media_id, **row)
+        return RemoteMedia(
+            media_origin=origin,
+            media_id=media_id,
+            media_type=row[0],
+            media_length=row[1],
+            upload_name=row[2],
+            created_ts=row[3],
+            filesystem_id=row[4],
+            last_access_ts=row[5],
+            quarantined_by=row[6],
+        )
 
     async def store_cached_remote_media(
         self,
@@ -665,11 +685,7 @@ class MediaRepositoryStore(MediaRepositoryBackgroundUpdateStore):
         if row is None:
             return None
         return ThumbnailInfo(
-            width=row["thumbnail_width"],
-            height=row["thumbnail_height"],
-            method=row["thumbnail_method"],
-            type=row["thumbnail_type"],
-            length=row["thumbnail_length"],
+            width=row[0], height=row[1], method=row[2], type=row[3], length=row[4]
         )
 
     @trace
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/profile.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/profile.py
index 3ba9cc8853..7ed111f632 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/profile.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/profile.py
@@ -13,7 +13,6 @@
 # limitations under the License.
 from typing import TYPE_CHECKING, Optional
 
-from synapse.api.errors import StoreError
 from synapse.storage._base import SQLBaseStore
 from synapse.storage.database import (
     DatabasePool,
@@ -138,23 +137,18 @@ class ProfileWorkerStore(SQLBaseStore):
         return 50
 
     async def get_profileinfo(self, user_id: UserID) -> ProfileInfo:
-        try:
-            profile = await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
-                table="profiles",
-                keyvalues={"full_user_id": user_id.to_string()},
-                retcols=("displayname", "avatar_url"),
-                desc="get_profileinfo",
-            )
-        except StoreError as e:
-            if e.code == 404:
-                # no match
-                return ProfileInfo(None, None)
-            else:
-                raise
-
-        return ProfileInfo(
-            avatar_url=profile["avatar_url"], display_name=profile["displayname"]
+        profile = await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
+            table="profiles",
+            keyvalues={"full_user_id": user_id.to_string()},
+            retcols=("displayname", "avatar_url"),
+            desc="get_profileinfo",
+            allow_none=True,
         )
+        if profile is None:
+            # no match
+            return ProfileInfo(None, None)
+
+        return ProfileInfo(avatar_url=profile[1], display_name=profile[0])
 
     async def get_profile_displayname(self, user_id: UserID) -> Optional[str]:
         return await self.db_pool.simple_select_one_onecol(
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/push_rule.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/push_rule.py
index 37135d431d..f72a23c584 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/push_rule.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/push_rule.py
@@ -468,8 +468,7 @@ class PushRuleStore(PushRulesWorkerStore):
                 "before/after rule not found: %s" % (relative_to_rule,)
             )
 
-        base_priority_class = res["priority_class"]
-        base_rule_priority = res["priority"]
+        base_priority_class, base_rule_priority = res
 
         if base_priority_class != priority_class:
             raise InconsistentRuleException(
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/receipts.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/receipts.py
index 56e8eb16a8..3484ce9ef9 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/receipts.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/receipts.py
@@ -701,8 +701,8 @@ class ReceiptsWorkerStore(SQLBaseStore):
             allow_none=True,
         )
 
-        stream_ordering = int(res["stream_ordering"]) if res else None
-        rx_ts = res["received_ts"] if res else 0
+        stream_ordering = int(res[0]) if res else None
+        rx_ts = res[1] if res else 0
 
         # We don't want to clobber receipts for more recent events, so we
         # have to compare orderings of existing receipts
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/registration.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/registration.py
index 933d76e905..dec9858575 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/registration.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/registration.py
@@ -425,17 +425,14 @@ class RegistrationWorkerStore(CacheInvalidationWorkerStore):
                     account timestamp as milliseconds since the epoch. None if the account
                     has not been renewed using the current token yet.
         """
-        ret_dict = await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
-            table="account_validity",
-            keyvalues={"renewal_token": renewal_token},
-            retcols=["user_id", "expiration_ts_ms", "token_used_ts_ms"],
-            desc="get_user_from_renewal_token",
-        )
-
-        return (
-            ret_dict["user_id"],
-            ret_dict["expiration_ts_ms"],
-            ret_dict["token_used_ts_ms"],
+        return cast(
+            Tuple[str, int, Optional[int]],
+            await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
+                table="account_validity",
+                keyvalues={"renewal_token": renewal_token},
+                retcols=["user_id", "expiration_ts_ms", "token_used_ts_ms"],
+                desc="get_user_from_renewal_token",
+            ),
         )
 
     async def get_renewal_token_for_user(self, user_id: str) -> str:
@@ -989,16 +986,13 @@ class RegistrationWorkerStore(CacheInvalidationWorkerStore):
         Returns:
             user id, or None if no user id/threepid mapping exists
         """
-        ret = self.db_pool.simple_select_one_txn(
+        return self.db_pool.simple_select_one_onecol_txn(
             txn,
             "user_threepids",
             {"medium": medium, "address": address},
-            ["user_id"],
+            "user_id",
             True,
         )
-        if ret:
-            return ret["user_id"]
-        return None
 
     async def user_add_threepid(
         self,
@@ -1435,16 +1429,15 @@ class RegistrationWorkerStore(CacheInvalidationWorkerStore):
         if res is None:
             return False
 
+        uses_allowed, pending, completed, expiry_time = res
+
         # Check if the token has expired
         now = self._clock.time_msec()
-        if res["expiry_time"] and res["expiry_time"] < now:
+        if expiry_time and expiry_time < now:
             return False
 
         # Check if the token has been used up
-        if (
-            res["uses_allowed"]
-            and res["pending"] + res["completed"] >= res["uses_allowed"]
-        ):
+        if uses_allowed and pending + completed >= uses_allowed:
             return False
 
         # Otherwise, the token is valid
@@ -1490,8 +1483,8 @@ class RegistrationWorkerStore(CacheInvalidationWorkerStore):
             # Override type because the return type is only optional if
             # allow_none is True, and we don't want mypy throwing errors
             # about None not being indexable.
-            res = cast(
-                Dict[str, Any],
+            pending, completed = cast(
+                Tuple[int, int],
                 self.db_pool.simple_select_one_txn(
                     txn,
                     "registration_tokens",
@@ -1506,8 +1499,8 @@ class RegistrationWorkerStore(CacheInvalidationWorkerStore):
                 "registration_tokens",
                 keyvalues={"token": token},
                 updatevalues={
-                    "completed": res["completed"] + 1,
-                    "pending": res["pending"] - 1,
+                    "completed": completed + 1,
+                    "pending": pending - 1,
                 },
             )
 
@@ -1585,13 +1578,22 @@ class RegistrationWorkerStore(CacheInvalidationWorkerStore):
         Returns:
             A dict, or None if token doesn't exist.
         """
-        return await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
+        row = await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
             "registration_tokens",
             keyvalues={"token": token},
             retcols=["token", "uses_allowed", "pending", "completed", "expiry_time"],
             allow_none=True,
             desc="get_one_registration_token",
         )
+        if row is None:
+            return None
+        return {
+            "token": row[0],
+            "uses_allowed": row[1],
+            "pending": row[2],
+            "completed": row[3],
+            "expiry_time": row[4],
+        }
 
     async def generate_registration_token(
         self, length: int, chars: str
@@ -1714,7 +1716,7 @@ class RegistrationWorkerStore(CacheInvalidationWorkerStore):
                 return None
 
             # Get all info about the token so it can be sent in the response
-            return self.db_pool.simple_select_one_txn(
+            result = self.db_pool.simple_select_one_txn(
                 txn,
                 "registration_tokens",
                 keyvalues={"token": token},
@@ -1728,6 +1730,17 @@ class RegistrationWorkerStore(CacheInvalidationWorkerStore):
                 allow_none=True,
             )
 
+            if result is None:
+                return result
+
+            return {
+                "token": result[0],
+                "uses_allowed": result[1],
+                "pending": result[2],
+                "completed": result[3],
+                "expiry_time": result[4],
+            }
+
         return await self.db_pool.runInteraction(
             "update_registration_token", _update_registration_token_txn
         )
@@ -1939,11 +1952,13 @@ class RegistrationWorkerStore(CacheInvalidationWorkerStore):
             keyvalues={"token": token},
             updatevalues={"used_ts": ts},
         )
-        user_id = values["user_id"]
-        expiry_ts = values["expiry_ts"]
-        used_ts = values["used_ts"]
-        auth_provider_id = values["auth_provider_id"]
-        auth_provider_session_id = values["auth_provider_session_id"]
+        (
+            user_id,
+            expiry_ts,
+            used_ts,
+            auth_provider_id,
+            auth_provider_session_id,
+        ) = values
 
         # Token was already used
         if used_ts is not None:
@@ -2756,12 +2771,11 @@ class RegistrationStore(StatsStore, RegistrationBackgroundUpdateStore):
                     # reason, the next check is on the client secret, which is NOT NULL,
                     # so we don't have to worry about the client secret matching by
                     # accident.
-                    row = {"client_secret": None, "validated_at": None}
+                    row = None, None
                 else:
                     raise ThreepidValidationError("Unknown session_id")
 
-            retrieved_client_secret = row["client_secret"]
-            validated_at = row["validated_at"]
+            retrieved_client_secret, validated_at = row
 
             row = self.db_pool.simple_select_one_txn(
                 txn,
@@ -2775,8 +2789,7 @@ class RegistrationStore(StatsStore, RegistrationBackgroundUpdateStore):
                 raise ThreepidValidationError(
                     "Validation token not found or has expired"
                 )
-            expires = row["expires"]
-            next_link = row["next_link"]
+            expires, next_link = row
 
             if retrieved_client_secret != client_secret:
                 raise ThreepidValidationError(
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/room.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/room.py
index afb880532e..ef26d5d9d3 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/room.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/room.py
@@ -213,21 +213,31 @@ class RoomWorkerStore(CacheInvalidationWorkerStore):
             logger.error("store_room with room_id=%s failed: %s", room_id, e)
             raise StoreError(500, "Problem creating room.")
 
-    async def get_room(self, room_id: str) -> Optional[Dict[str, Any]]:
+    async def get_room(self, room_id: str) -> Optional[Tuple[bool, bool]]:
         """Retrieve a room.
 
         Args:
             room_id: The ID of the room to retrieve.
         Returns:
-            A dict containing the room information, or None if the room is unknown.
+            A tuple containing the room information:
+                * True if the room is public
+                * True if the room has an auth chain index
+
+            or None if the room is unknown.
         """
-        return await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
-            table="rooms",
-            keyvalues={"room_id": room_id},
-            retcols=("room_id", "is_public", "creator", "has_auth_chain_index"),
-            desc="get_room",
-            allow_none=True,
+        row = cast(
+            Optional[Tuple[Optional[Union[int, bool]], Optional[Union[int, bool]]]],
+            await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
+                table="rooms",
+                keyvalues={"room_id": room_id},
+                retcols=("is_public", "has_auth_chain_index"),
+                desc="get_room",
+                allow_none=True,
+            ),
         )
+        if row is None:
+            return row
+        return bool(row[0]), bool(row[1])
 
     async def get_room_with_stats(self, room_id: str) -> Optional[RoomStats]:
         """Retrieve room with statistics.
@@ -794,10 +804,7 @@ class RoomWorkerStore(CacheInvalidationWorkerStore):
         )
 
         if row:
-            return RatelimitOverride(
-                messages_per_second=row["messages_per_second"],
-                burst_count=row["burst_count"],
-            )
+            return RatelimitOverride(messages_per_second=row[0], burst_count=row[1])
         else:
             return None
 
@@ -1371,13 +1378,15 @@ class RoomWorkerStore(CacheInvalidationWorkerStore):
         join.
         """
 
-        result = await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
-            table="partial_state_rooms",
-            keyvalues={"room_id": room_id},
-            retcols=("join_event_id", "device_lists_stream_id"),
-            desc="get_join_event_id_for_partial_state",
+        return cast(
+            Tuple[str, int],
+            await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
+                table="partial_state_rooms",
+                keyvalues={"room_id": room_id},
+                retcols=("join_event_id", "device_lists_stream_id"),
+                desc="get_join_event_id_for_partial_state",
+            ),
         )
-        return result["join_event_id"], result["device_lists_stream_id"]
 
     def get_un_partial_stated_rooms_token(self, instance_name: str) -> int:
         return self._un_partial_stated_rooms_stream_id_gen.get_current_token_for_writer(
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/roommember.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/roommember.py
index 1ed7f2d0ef..60d4a9ef30 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/roommember.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/roommember.py
@@ -559,17 +559,20 @@ class RoomMemberWorkerStore(EventsWorkerStore, CacheInvalidationWorkerStore):
                 "non-local user %s" % (user_id,),
             )
 
-        results_dict = await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
-            "local_current_membership",
-            {"room_id": room_id, "user_id": user_id},
-            ("membership", "event_id"),
-            allow_none=True,
-            desc="get_local_current_membership_for_user_in_room",
+        results = cast(
+            Optional[Tuple[str, str]],
+            await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
+                "local_current_membership",
+                {"room_id": room_id, "user_id": user_id},
+                ("membership", "event_id"),
+                allow_none=True,
+                desc="get_local_current_membership_for_user_in_room",
+            ),
         )
-        if not results_dict:
+        if not results:
             return None, None
 
-        return results_dict.get("membership"), results_dict.get("event_id")
+        return results
 
     @cached(max_entries=500000, iterable=True)
     async def get_rooms_for_user_with_stream_ordering(
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/stream.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/stream.py
index 2225f8272d..563c275a2c 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/stream.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/stream.py
@@ -1014,9 +1014,7 @@ class StreamWorkerStore(EventsWorkerStore, SQLBaseStore):
             desc="get_position_for_event",
         )
 
-        return PersistedEventPosition(
-            row["instance_name"] or "master", row["stream_ordering"]
-        )
+        return PersistedEventPosition(row[1] or "master", row[0])
 
     async def get_topological_token_for_event(self, event_id: str) -> RoomStreamToken:
         """The stream token for an event
@@ -1033,9 +1031,7 @@ class StreamWorkerStore(EventsWorkerStore, SQLBaseStore):
             retcols=("stream_ordering", "topological_ordering"),
             desc="get_topological_token_for_event",
         )
-        return RoomStreamToken(
-            topological=row["topological_ordering"], stream=row["stream_ordering"]
-        )
+        return RoomStreamToken(topological=row[1], stream=row[0])
 
     async def get_current_topological_token(self, room_id: str, stream_key: int) -> int:
         """Gets the topological token in a room after or at the given stream
@@ -1180,26 +1176,24 @@ class StreamWorkerStore(EventsWorkerStore, SQLBaseStore):
             dict
         """
 
-        results = self.db_pool.simple_select_one_txn(
-            txn,
-            "events",
-            keyvalues={"event_id": event_id, "room_id": room_id},
-            retcols=["stream_ordering", "topological_ordering"],
+        stream_ordering, topological_ordering = cast(
+            Tuple[int, int],
+            self.db_pool.simple_select_one_txn(
+                txn,
+                "events",
+                keyvalues={"event_id": event_id, "room_id": room_id},
+                retcols=["stream_ordering", "topological_ordering"],
+            ),
         )
 
-        # This cannot happen as `allow_none=False`.
-        assert results is not None
-
         # Paginating backwards includes the event at the token, but paginating
         # forward doesn't.
         before_token = RoomStreamToken(
-            topological=results["topological_ordering"] - 1,
-            stream=results["stream_ordering"],
+            topological=topological_ordering - 1, stream=stream_ordering
         )
 
         after_token = RoomStreamToken(
-            topological=results["topological_ordering"],
-            stream=results["stream_ordering"],
+            topological=topological_ordering, stream=stream_ordering
         )
 
         rows, start_token = self._paginate_room_events_txn(
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/task_scheduler.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/task_scheduler.py
index 5555b53575..64543b4d61 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/task_scheduler.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/task_scheduler.py
@@ -183,39 +183,27 @@ class TaskSchedulerWorkerStore(SQLBaseStore):
 
         Returns: the task if available, `None` otherwise
         """
-        row = await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
-            table="scheduled_tasks",
-            keyvalues={"id": id},
-            retcols=(
-                "id",
-                "action",
-                "status",
-                "timestamp",
-                "resource_id",
-                "params",
-                "result",
-                "error",
+        row = cast(
+            Optional[ScheduledTaskRow],
+            await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
+                table="scheduled_tasks",
+                keyvalues={"id": id},
+                retcols=(
+                    "id",
+                    "action",
+                    "status",
+                    "timestamp",
+                    "resource_id",
+                    "params",
+                    "result",
+                    "error",
+                ),
+                allow_none=True,
+                desc="get_scheduled_task",
             ),
-            allow_none=True,
-            desc="get_scheduled_task",
         )
 
-        return (
-            TaskSchedulerWorkerStore._convert_row_to_task(
-                (
-                    row["id"],
-                    row["action"],
-                    row["status"],
-                    row["timestamp"],
-                    row["resource_id"],
-                    row["params"],
-                    row["result"],
-                    row["error"],
-                )
-            )
-            if row
-            else None
-        )
+        return TaskSchedulerWorkerStore._convert_row_to_task(row) if row else None
 
     async def delete_scheduled_task(self, id: str) -> None:
         """Delete a specific task from its id.
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/transactions.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/transactions.py
index fecddb4144..2d341affaa 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/transactions.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/transactions.py
@@ -118,19 +118,13 @@ class TransactionWorkerStore(CacheInvalidationWorkerStore):
             txn,
             table="received_transactions",
             keyvalues={"transaction_id": transaction_id, "origin": origin},
-            retcols=(
-                "transaction_id",
-                "origin",
-                "ts",
-                "response_code",
-                "response_json",
-                "has_been_referenced",
-            ),
+            retcols=("response_code", "response_json"),
             allow_none=True,
         )
 
-        if result and result["response_code"]:
-            return result["response_code"], db_to_json(result["response_json"])
+        # If the result exists and the response code is non-0.
+        if result and result[0]:
+            return result[0], db_to_json(result[1])
 
         else:
             return None
@@ -200,8 +194,10 @@ class TransactionWorkerStore(CacheInvalidationWorkerStore):
 
         # check we have a row and retry_last_ts is not null or zero
         # (retry_last_ts can't be negative)
-        if result and result["retry_last_ts"]:
-            return DestinationRetryTimings(**result)
+        if result and result[1]:
+            return DestinationRetryTimings(
+                failure_ts=result[0], retry_last_ts=result[1], retry_interval=result[2]
+            )
         else:
             return None
 
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/ui_auth.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/ui_auth.py
index 8ab7c42c4a..5b164fed8e 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/ui_auth.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/ui_auth.py
@@ -122,9 +122,13 @@ class UIAuthWorkerStore(SQLBaseStore):
             desc="get_ui_auth_session",
         )
 
-        result["clientdict"] = db_to_json(result["clientdict"])
-
-        return UIAuthSessionData(session_id, **result)
+        return UIAuthSessionData(
+            session_id,
+            clientdict=db_to_json(result[0]),
+            uri=result[1],
+            method=result[2],
+            description=result[3],
+        )
 
     async def mark_ui_auth_stage_complete(
         self,
@@ -231,18 +235,15 @@ class UIAuthWorkerStore(SQLBaseStore):
         self, txn: LoggingTransaction, session_id: str, key: str, value: Any
     ) -> None:
         # Get the current value.
-        result = cast(
-            Dict[str, Any],
-            self.db_pool.simple_select_one_txn(
-                txn,
-                table="ui_auth_sessions",
-                keyvalues={"session_id": session_id},
-                retcols=("serverdict",),
-            ),
+        result = self.db_pool.simple_select_one_onecol_txn(
+            txn,
+            table="ui_auth_sessions",
+            keyvalues={"session_id": session_id},
+            retcol="serverdict",
         )
 
         # Update it and add it back to the database.
-        serverdict = db_to_json(result["serverdict"])
+        serverdict = db_to_json(result)
         serverdict[key] = value
 
         self.db_pool.simple_update_one_txn(
@@ -265,14 +266,14 @@ class UIAuthWorkerStore(SQLBaseStore):
         Raises:
             StoreError if the session cannot be found.
         """
-        result = await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
+        result = await self.db_pool.simple_select_one_onecol(
             table="ui_auth_sessions",
             keyvalues={"session_id": session_id},
-            retcols=("serverdict",),
+            retcol="serverdict",
             desc="get_ui_auth_session_data",
         )
 
-        serverdict = db_to_json(result["serverdict"])
+        serverdict = db_to_json(result)
 
         return serverdict.get(key, default)
 
diff --git a/synapse/storage/databases/main/user_directory.py b/synapse/storage/databases/main/user_directory.py
index a9f5d68b63..1a38f3d785 100644
--- a/synapse/storage/databases/main/user_directory.py
+++ b/synapse/storage/databases/main/user_directory.py
@@ -20,7 +20,6 @@ from typing import (
     Collection,
     Iterable,
     List,
-    Mapping,
     Optional,
     Sequence,
     Set,
@@ -833,13 +832,25 @@ class UserDirectoryBackgroundUpdateStore(StateDeltasStore):
             "delete_all_from_user_dir", _delete_all_from_user_dir_txn
         )
 
-    async def _get_user_in_directory(self, user_id: str) -> Optional[Mapping[str, str]]:
-        return await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
-            table="user_directory",
-            keyvalues={"user_id": user_id},
-            retcols=("display_name", "avatar_url"),
-            allow_none=True,
-            desc="get_user_in_directory",
+    async def _get_user_in_directory(
+        self, user_id: str
+    ) -> Optional[Tuple[Optional[str], Optional[str]]]:
+        """
+        Fetch the user information in the user directory.
+
+        Returns:
+            None if the user is unknown, otherwise a tuple of display name and
+            avatar URL (both of which may be None).
+        """
+        return cast(
+            Optional[Tuple[Optional[str], Optional[str]]],
+            await self.db_pool.simple_select_one(
+                table="user_directory",
+                keyvalues={"user_id": user_id},
+                retcols=("display_name", "avatar_url"),
+                allow_none=True,
+                desc="get_user_in_directory",
+            ),
         )
 
     async def update_user_directory_stream_pos(self, stream_id: Optional[int]) -> None: